Months

We measure many things in months: 12 months in a year, 9 months of pregnancy, 3 months of summer. Recently though a friend of mine who is also battling cancer was given 6 months to live. I just found out last night and my heart is aching. How do you spend your time when you have so little left? What becomes the most important things, especially when you are in so much pain you need constant pain medications which in turn make you incoherent? What do you want to hear from friends? from family? Psalm 90:12 "So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom."

Another Late Night

It's 12:17 am. I know in some households this is a regular bedtime. But for my adult pre-sick life bedtime was ten and now it's 8:30. Not that lights are out at 8:30 but I am in bed relaxing.

However, the 8:30 window slipped right by me tonight as I was helping Harry with homework. Then I wanted to visit with Luke a little as we are making some discipline changes with our kids and our spending. And lost the window of going to bed when tired, not even a sleeping pill can help you after a second wind and a major headache.

So on to the new disciplines, I have read off and on Dave Ramsey's books and had just begun to try the snowball when I was initially diagnosed with the cancer so our finances went spiraling out of control again as our primary bookkeeper, me, could have cared less about retiring debt as I lay unwilling to move after back surgery, unwilling to think during radiation, and unable to process information during chemo (chemo messes with the thought processes of your brain, something they don't tell you pre-chemo.) So I'm giving it another go. This weekend it is a balanced budget (we are going to consolidate some date, Dave don't hate me) but it makes the paying of the bills in a limited window (when I'm healthy and feeling like my brain is working well enough to add and subtract) so much easier if I only have to worry about one check. Our goal is to live on Luke's regular pay, and put his overtime and my piano lessons and babysitting to debit retirement as much as we can. As you can see I'm still crunching the numbers.

Our other discipline is the kids and how much electronic time they receive each day. Luke wants me to make coupons for the kids that represent their electronic time. I hope this works we really need to get into a regular routine of life. I would just like them to get their stuff done like chores, homework, rooms, instruments, and family time. Is that too much to ask? We really need a day of rain to just get my kids inside and clean their rooms. :P

Had chemo today and a flu shot. It all seemed to go well. I saw my doctor's partner and he had the same opinion about my numbers and results that I seem to be stable. My numbers are still high, too high to quit chemo, but stable. This chemo is a nasty one I have heard but I am taking it at a very low dose each week and the only side effect that I can't really do anything about is the fatigue. No amount of rest makes up for the fatigue of chemo. There is one other but it is short lived each week. They have found that if you suck on ice while receiving the chemo you tend not to get so many mouth sores. It's hard for me as I have very cold sensitive teeth. but it must be true as I have only had one mouth sore and it was very much like a canker sore. I do have to be careful about hot or spicy foods the first two days after chemo, which is a trick because if I'm going to crave Mexican it's on chemo day. :{

The glories of a clean and organized house

First let me state that I do not have a clean and organized house but rather am striving to have one. I have exactly 2 days left of this reprieve from chemo to take back some of the darkest regions of my home. i.e. the linen closet, hand-me-down school clothes sorted out for the new year, my boys dressers, and my daughter's closet. All areas I typically try to avoid. Actually, the children's room is only entered upon them creating a path by which I can safely travel through bearing gifts of clean clothes.

At the end of last week a dear, dear, dear, (can you have too many dears) friend came and helped me organize my craft room. It was cleaned and organized 8 months ago and then slowly became things are brought to me to deal with and I'm too tired to think about this although it is my responsibility so please just take it to the craft room happens. Well now the room is over flowing with stuff. So Amy and I went though the stuff, mostly just reorganizing some of the storage and parting with a few things. There is so much more to part with but now that the room is clean and the dust has been wiped from the workstations I can go back and organize and truly purge. Thank you Amy and again I say Thanks.

Today, we worked on kids rooms. Levi got a new way to store his toys. We moved a different dresser into his room for his clothes and the old dresser has become the place for toys to go. As a result he has to put the toys away and the drawer has to close in order for it to be called clean. Harry's room is a little less dangerous. Mostly he needs a place to mount his guitars on the wall. Lauren's room needs the most work and it has gotten the most out of hand and it will change the most when we complete the loft beds. But it is forever a work in progress. If it could all be accomplished by the 15th of September I would be so delighted. (Not the painting in Lauren's room that she wants, but the rest.)

Sleepless Nights

It must need be late in the evening for me to able to post. No noises of kids and their demands. Alone to my thoughts and worries. Wednesday nights always seem to be the hardest to sleep.

There was some speculation that this was caused by the excitement of kids and Awana and my inability to gear down after club. The other contender was the fact that Thursday is chemo day and I have a lot of underlying stress creeping in. This summer has provided the later to be true as we have not had kids club for 2 months. I suppose more time in God's word would help abate these fears.


Harry is traveling with my Dad in a semi-trailer. When he returns on Saturday he will have been gone a week. It has been a quite week. The littles don't seem to fight the same when he it gone but they do fight. Snotty little bickering that just doesn't seem to happen when Harry is around. He doesn't let Lauren do snotty.


Just a little more than 3 weeks left of summer vacation. Where does it all go. Gotta get a friend party or 2 planned in this short time left. Wonder what we should do. We had planned to go to the new pool in Ames but they are really slow in opening the pool.


We have loved the pool this year. Lauren and Levi are old enough they can be dropped off at the pool for a few hours all by themselves. Which I did Monday. However, about 50 minutes later there they were at my back door. A friend had brought them home as there was a "fecal" matter at the pool (read A KID POOPED in THE POOL). They were a little shock up but bounced back well. They wanted to go back yesterday. OK. They will probably go tomorrow as I have chemo. (The did not get to go today because of a messy room incident.)

New Beds

This is my first post. It is getting late, for me, and I wish I was in bed but I can't sleep. Maybe I will have a bowl of cereal and try again.

Luke and I begin a project journey today. I had asked him last year at this time what he thought about lofting the kids beds. He didn't get excited about it and so I let it go. I brought it up again this year and even did a little research about what I wanted the beds to look like. Then he knew I was serious and he got excited to. Volunteering to help with the project in the shop, something I have only done a handful of times, may have been the clincher. So, today we trekked down to Earlham and Osceola to purchase boards for this project and another to be determined. Our initial estimate it that all three lofts without any extra bookshelves or desks just the lofting part can be built for about $20 a bed with the deal on the wood we had today.

Now I'm getting excited. That would be a great day if we can get the kids bed lifted up and maybe build them each a desk and some book shelves for less than $200 all total. Hip, hip, hooray