Two Pills Twice a Day

I'm beginning a new regimen for my cancer treatment. After almost 9 months of chemo there are several reasons for the change. While visiting with the doc he brought out the following points.

First, what I was on is not working quite as well. The cancer hot spots that I have, have been more painful for the last 3 weeks. This is a pretty good indicator that the cancer is growing. To confirm this I had a bone scan this week and it indicates that my spots are indeed growing.

Secondly, I have just about reached the lifetime limit for this current chemo. This chemo is hard on the heart. I have had an ultrasound of my heart and it is still in good working order. This was encouraging because it's hard to know which of the side effects each individual will experience.

Thirdly, it's almost holiday time. I had spent quite a bit of time pouring over my calendar trying to determine how much time off I would ask for. Chemo makes me so tired that I don't have the strength to do anything extra and a special Christmas is all about extras. This may seem like something that shouldn't be a part of considering cancer treatment. But metastatic disease is very different from traditional treatment.

Metastatic disease is a long term fight, constantly needing to weigh treatment verse quality of life. I still need to be a wife, Mom, daughter, and church member. When the cancer treatments don't allow me any of those things than it doesn't really seem worthwhile.

At the end of the visit the doc suggested we try a hormone treatment instead of chemotherapy. My cancer is estrogen sensitive so I will be taking medication that will suppress my estrogen. So he wrote a prescription and I picked it up. I opened the bottle this morning to start the medication and poured out two pills. Two pills, twice a day! How can this possibly fight cancer? It doesn't seem enough. I have been doing such harsh treatment for so long.

I am excited and cautious about the change. Excited about the prospect of time off. Of feeling good and doing normal things like sewing, practicing piano, and cooking. Cautious because if this doesn't work the cancer will continue to grow and I will continue to experience pain and will have to go back to a chemotherapy, perhaps one with harsher side effects.